It’s time to re-stitch the fabric of Brotherhood.
Feminists, leftists, general misandrists, they all enjoy attacking men and masculinity. Men are the problem. Toxic masculinity is permeated throughout society. Rape culture is rife and men are to blame. Whilst this has caused a schism between men and women, gender relations are at the worst they have been for some 100 years, this has also caused a split between men.
I hate to see it and I hate to say it even more, but men have become isolated. There’s no comradery among men, the unity is gone. What ever happened to the blood ties that bonded men? What happened to a shared brotherhood? I see it too often, either a one-upmanship of competition between the lads of today or a shared, collective ignorance of one another. There’s no bro code.
Way back in 1893 Lois Waisbrooker published her novel A Sex Revolution, which called for a change in the hands of power, so that rather than men leading the way but instead, for 50 years, women shall. Not entirely a bad concept but what I wish to draw attention to is the manner in which men and women were represented. Men were represented by Selfredo, a man dressed in an officer’s uniform, who attempts to call up his troops with his trumpet. Selfredo is the embodied spirit of the love of power, of selfishness. This is in spite of the fact that he is calling his troops so they can defend their nation, as if them going of the fight to protect their lands (and those who inhabit them) is a crime.
Women, on the other hand, were represented by Lovella, who is the embodiment, not of creating, but of protecting love – she is also the embodied spirit of motherhood. In this text it is presented that men working together to protect their lands and kin are at fault and even argues that women lose most when men do this, because women lose their husbands, brothers and sons (must be where Hilary Clinton got it from).
The reason I reference this text is because of the cultural relevance for men today, men are represented in the media as “Selfredo”, agentic, stubborn and warmongering, whilst women are represented as “Lovella”, nurturing, mothering and unaccountable. We see a disdain for men and a respect for women. This model of men – this worldview of masculinity – is held by men and women alike, unifying women behind a positive image and dividing men with a negative image.
This can be argued as a manifestation of the empathy gap, that we have less empathy for the plights and issues of men than we do for the plights and issues of women. Yet, what we see here, is not just a manifestation of it but an ugly capitalisation of it, the lack of empathy for men has been turned into antipathy – we refuse to care for men and paint them as in the wrong (see Duluth Model, Sex Crimes, Prison Sentencing Gap, etc). What baffles me most is that men are complacent in this – they will jump to protect others but point blank refuse to do the same for themselves. It is socially acceptable to attack and isolate men, they are a threat that needs to be broken up. I can’t imagine someone getting away with directing a similar message about women.
In fact, looking further into this, we see that women exhibit greater in-group bias than men and there’s a general societal preference for women. The paper “Gender Differences in Automatic In-Group Bias: Why Do Women Like Women More Than Men Like Men?” explains that “…only women (not men) showed cognitive balance among in-group bias, identity, and self-esteem, revealing that men lack a mechanism that bolsters automatic own group preference… [They] found pro-female bias to the extent that participants automatically favoured their mothers over their fathers or associated male gender with violence, suggesting that maternal bonding and male intimidation influence gender attitudes… [They] showed that for sexually experienced men, the more positive their attitude was toward sex, the more they implicitly favoured women.” There’s a natural pro-female bias at play here, greater positivity is shown to women than men. This extends further, to the point that positive traits in general are attributed to women, this is also known as the Women are Wonder Effect. Further analysis of these effects will be detailed in a future post. Essentially, both women and men hold women to a higher degree of empathy (and dare I say compassion) than men.
The essence of this article is that this needs to change. Men need to re-engage their shared look-out for one another – to have each other’s backs. This war on men and masculinity is succeeding. It’s time to re-ignite that respect amongst men, to bring about a shared identity; that is what is lacking. Men have been split apart, their purpose taken away, what it feels like to be a man is now a ghost of an idea, where is their shared spirit?
There are places where men bond, where men collect and are united by a common cause, a shared goal, a collective idea. For some this is sports, where they unite behind a team. For others this is work, where men share a craft.
An area that demonstrates this in excellent form is the military. They unite themselves behind a creed – this bonds them, it almost becomes a lifeblood. One such creed is the Rifleman’s Creed, also known as My Rifle and The Creed of the United States Marine. All enlisted Marines learn the creed at recruit training.
This is my rifle. There are many like it, but this one is mine.
My rifle is my best friend. It is my life. I must master it as I must master my life.
Without me, my rifle is useless. Without my rifle, I am useless. I must fire my rifle true. I must shoot straighter than my enemy who is trying to kill me. I must shoot him before he shoots me. I will…
My rifle and I know that what counts in war is not the rounds we fire, the noise of our burst, nor the smoke we make. We know that it is the hits that count. We will hit…
My rifle is human, even as I, because it is my life. Thus, I will learn it as a brother. I will learn its weaknesses, its strength, its parts, its accessories, its sights and its barrel. I will keep my rifle clean and ready, even as I am clean and ready. We will become part of each other. We will…
Before God, I swear this creed. My rifle and I are the defenders of my country. We are the masters of our enemy. We are the saviours of my life.
So be it, until victory is America’s and there is no enemy, but peace!
This becomes a shared identity, a mantra to live by. This unites the men, when they are deployed on the battleground and when home as a civilian.
In his book Gorilla Mindset, Mike Cernovich talks about how this can be used to build inner strength within yourself. Gorilla Mindset teaches you how to take control of your emotions and your life, using mindfulness techniques and changing the way you talk to yourself so you can live your life on your terms. He talks about how the military have these creeds to live by, how it builds and motivates men.
This is what must be done for men, to be united behind a common identity. This identity, simply put, is masculinity.
Yep, that “toxic” masculinity.
Masculinity built the walls that surround us; masculinity keeps the horrors of the world at bay; masculinity shields us under its protecting watch: masculinity is a strength. Despite this, the definition of masculinity given by men is considered a surprise. In a 27,000 participant study the men interviewed reported that being seen as “honourable, self-reliant and respected was more important to their idea of masculinity than being seen as attractive, sexually active or successful with women”. Yet this is an age old definition: masculinity is honour, self-reliance and respect.
This is a common, core aspect of men that is shared and upheld near universally. Yet this pervasive war on men (and in turn, masculinity) has taught men to hide their masculinity. Masculinity is becoming a dirty word (thanks mainstream media [and special thanks to shitty outlets such as The Guardian and HuffPo]), men are told they are inherently toxic, boys are taught they are faulty girls.
And so, by destroying this identity, by demonising their maleness, men have been divided. Divide and conquer, it’s simple. So I say enough of this garbage! Enough of this attack on men!
Men, your greatest strength is yourselves, your greatest allies are each other. This war on masculinity isn’t a war on the individual, it’s on men as a group. Not only should men band together but those who seek to poison the well of masculinity must be held accountable. I’m talking about the mangina schmucks at The Guardian, the pretentious saps at BuzzFeed, the asinine losers at HuffPo, they are the misandrists who wish to see the downfall of men and masculinity. Masculinity is not a sickness waiting to be cured, it’s a strength that can move mountains.
So, to summarise, there is a war on masculinity, there is an antipathy for men, the bond between men is gone … and this all needs to change.