Bring Back Bullying

It’s not something to say lightly but I wholeheartedly endorse school yard bullying. It separates the weak from the strong and gives those who need it the necessary character building and training for the inequities they will face in later life.

I can already imagine hearing it, “take a load of this jackass” but dear reader may I reassure you that I too was bullied … and quite considerably so. For the fair majority of my primary school life I faced loneliness and isolation, name calling and targeted abuse. Sure, at the time I hated it; I was alone and unwanted. But hey, it was character building.

It taught me to face adversity. It taught me that there are people out there who really do not give a shit what you have to say and will happily talk over you. It taught me that no matter how much of a perfect fucking snowflake you are, piss still feels like rain no matter how much you want to dress it up. And that is why I endorse bullying, because there are people out there who really need a healthy dose of reality checking.

Yes, that’s right neo-liberals, progressives, SJW’s and any other bleeding heart pansy, you heard me. Bring back bullying. “Why?” I hear the devil’s advocates out there asking me. Simple, we live in a society today where feelings trump freedom. Where there are people out there who have spent so much of their privileged lives growing up under this fanciful anti-bullying campaign that it has taught them the world is one big liberal arts college campus where people will hold your hand, wrap a warm blanket round you and softly whisper into your ear “it’ll be alright”. They believe, nay, they outright demand they be given special treatment to cater for their feelings, that everything has to be pristine and softly administered so as not to offend their liberal, supine, invertebrate sensibilities. Alas this is not the world we live in, it is dog eat dog, survival of the fittest where you either have to suck dick to get somewhere or be faced with the prospect of someone metaphorically shitting in your mouth and you having to actually respond with gratitude for the flavour.

My colourful description of the world is namely for the sake of highlighting that this world is not some glossy kid’s fairground. Call me pessimistic (despite evidence showing that pessimists are more realisticand happier) but life is not some big garden party. So what we need is for bullying to make a comeback. The strong will inevitably bully and thus be better equipped at fighting for what they want in life and the weak will inevitably be bullied thus equipping them with the necessary defence mechanisms to cope with such a harsh world. So as to quote Cersei Lannister “In the game of thrones either you win or you die”. That’s just how it is and our schoolchildren need to be learning this from an early age so they can have a better chance at carving themselves a good path in life, because no-one’s going to be giving them any hand-outs.

The reason behind this verbal tirade against the thin-skinned and desperately weak is because of the utter cancer that recently unfolded at Yale University. It started as an email from Yale Intercultural Affairs to all Yale students requesting “sensitivity” over choice of Halloween costume which soon escalated into explosive controversy when a professor responded questioning whether we should be enforcing such ideas.

Rather than responding how most people would (i.e. not at all), Yale university students organised a 300 strong protest against the offending professor and her husband who defended her and called for their removal. Not only that but more than 740 Yale undergraduates, graduate students, alumni, faculty and students from other universities signed an open letter denouncing her email and claiming that she was silencing the voices of ethnic minorities. They also claimed that “To ask marginalized students to throw away their enjoyment of a holiday, in order to expend emotional, mental, and physical energy to explain why something is offensive, is — offensive.” To counter-quote, Eleanor Roosevelt rightly said “no one can make you feel inferior without your consent”.

Nicholas Christakis was present at the protest and attempted to reason with the attendees, footage of which can be on The Foundation for Individual Rights in Education (FIRE) youtube in four separate pieces. In it he is berated for not getting a student’s name right (despite having 500), he is told he must provide an apology for the students because they are hurting, he is heckled for pointing out that he even has similar beliefs as his students. In part two is where he points out said similarities, watch the woman in the background standing in the front row as she appears to suffer the worst of epiphanies. Her face is aghast in confusion, arms flailing around her head as if to simultaneously comfort her fragile being and to also block further offending soundwaves from entering her dainty ear canal. Poor thing.

My favourite clip, part three, which is arguably the most infuriating and epitomising clip, shows the ultimate confrontation between Nicholas Christakis and his combatant. He has by now been clearly worked up, most likely from the repetitiveness of their banal onslaught and the students are heckling that they should walk away. The first display of hostility is when the antagonist yells for him to “be quiet”. To quote her “As your position of master, it is your job to create a place of comfort and home for the students that live in Silliman”, he has apparently not done that. When he disagrees she yells “why the fuck did you accept the position … who the fuck hired you?” The icing on the cake, the cherry on top came when she yelled – and no shadow of a lie she actually yelled this – “you should step down, it is not about creating an intellectual space!” She drops her bag and, to use the proverbial term, ‘squared up’ to him as if to either physically intimidate him or imply the instigation of a fight.

So what does this have to do with bullying? Why does the idea of some pretentious, entitled, presumptuous, spineless, chicken-shit Yale students getting their pansy-ass liberal knickers in a twist mean we need to bring back bullying? Simple.


Yep, entitlement. A little known fact is that victims of bullying never grew a sense of entitlement. They do not scream and bawl when they do not get their way. But stupid children who think the world should cuddle them and wrap them in cotton wool do.

There were three types of student who willingly did not attend that protest:

1 – Those who did not care too much.

2 – Those who had been bullied and as such wasn’t bothered by the email because, hey, who cares?

3 – Those who hadn’t been bullied yet were sane rational humans and were themselves also not bothered by the email because, hey, who cares?

The fact that these students were willing to organise this protest, pull together this open letter and argue so vehemently against these professors because their feelings got hurt over some hypothetical Halloween costumes that might potentially be offensive (in typing that really zoned home just how petty and pathetic those students are) shows just how emotionally unprepared for the world they are. These people with such weak sentiments and soft hearts who can’t deal with differing opinion because they are different show how much we have failed the next generation.

These students, who are riled to the point of nearing tears because someone thinks differently are clearly not ready to face what is out there. They will not cope with an unfair world that will not help them. They are not ready to face the uphill struggle of life. And that is why I advocate for bullying, because had they have been bullied then them going to university and facing just a differing fucking opinion would have been child’s play. But because we have raised our children like precious snowflakes they are ill-equipped to face what is out there and explode with abrupt volatility at the first sign of apparent danger. They lack the appropriate skills to be able to navigate an ever changing world of friend-or-foe, where any slight is misperceived as an attack on life. These people have no idea of real danger so they overwhelmingly inflate any minute aggressor to the point that it is viewed as almost life threatening if not at least physically endangering and respond with a panic induced countering outburst, of which is oft several orders of magnitude worse than the initial “transgression”. This is no way to raise kids and no way to live. So let’s bring back bullying, because that weird looking kid probably does wet the bed – or at least we’ll say he does.

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